What you mean to me
by KeepDreamingLily
Summary: Follows the years of Severus and Lily's time at Hogwarts and how there relationship and friendship evolves then crashes. For Taragh McCarthy's Your Goal: 34 Stories, Our Gift: 106 Reviews Competiton at HPFC forum. Round 1, reviews would be lovely


Disclaimer: I dont own anything related to the Harry Potter universe, all credit goes to J.K Rowling,

* * *

><p><strong>What you mean to me, <strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Summer, 1971<strong>

Severus Snape had lived on Spinners End his whole life, as well had Lily Evans. As the day July 15th came so did Severus Snape's Hogwarts acceptance letter. This was what he was waiting for his whole summer, for the letter to come to say he had been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. But when Lily Evans got hers she was nearly unaware of the situation and therefore so was her parents, for she was muggle born. Severus had informed Lily about her magical being a short time ago, but Lily was not fully capable of understanding the situation.

"You're a witch Lily," he said to her.

"A witch, that's silly, magic isn't real," she insisted.

"But it is, you have magical capability's I have seen you use them," he told her. "Have you ever done something extraordinary without really doing it or even touching it?" he asked.

"I made my mother's vase break once, I think," she said. "Well I was so angry and I was just staring at the vase and it broke, into millions of tiny pieces, water went everywhere," Lily said.

"You see, you are a witch!" Severus exclaimed.

It was on the Friday when Lily had returned to school. She had opened the letter and had run straight to Severus's house. She couldn't believe what Severus had told her was true; she was a witch, a real witch! Severus's dad was not at all pleased when he had received his letter. He didn't like magic at all. Severus greeted Lily as she arrived at his house. They went into Severus's house's back courtyard and read their letters together.

"This is great Sev, we will be learning magic together!" she exclaimed.

"I already have been reading up on it, will lend you some of the books I have," Severus told lily.

"But what about all these other books on the list, I have never heard of or seen them at any of the bookstores," she told him.

"That's because there is a special place to get everything," Severus told her.

"Well where?" she asked him.

"Diagon Alley," he replied,

"What on earth is that?" she asked.

"A special alley just for wizards to buy things, like the alley on 5th street, but magical," he explained.

"Sounds wonderful," she said. "I can't wait.

**Hogwarts Express, September 1****st**** 1971**

"Come on Lily, we have to get a seat!" Severus called.

"Just a minute Sev," Lily said. "Bye mother! Bye father," she called out. This was the first day of Hogwarts for Severus and Lily. As they ran through the barrier together pushing their trolleys as the Hogwarts Express came into vision. "Wow," Lily said astonished. "Let's get on Sev!" Lily called to him. Severus ran after Lily as she took off towards the big red smoky train.

"Lily, wait up!" Severus called out.

"Well, keep up Sev," she called back. They boarded the train and found an empty compartment to sit in. Not after long they were approached by two young boys to look the same age as themselves. The two boys opened the compartment and slid in.

"Can we sit in here, everywhere else is full," Severus looked at the two boys standing in the door way annoyed. _'No'_ he thought, this was Lily and his compartment and no-one else's.

"Sure!" Lily piped up. The two boys sat down across from them. "I'm Lily, and this is Severus," Lily said to them.

"Well I'm James and this is Sirius," James said.

"Nice to meet you Lily," Sirius said. "And you _Snivellus_," Sirius joked. The two boys laughed at the name Sirius had just come up with.

"My name is not _Snivellus_, its Severus," he stated. The boys ignored him.

"So Snivellus, do you know any magic?" James asked.

"Yes, but surly magic is not allowed on the train, it's forbidden outside of school," he told them.

"Wow, really I never knew," James said sarcastically. Lily laughed and Severus scolded. James lifted his wand and sharply flicked it. "Colloshoo," James shouted pointing his wand at Severus's shoes.

"Well, that wasn't much, was it?" Severus snickered.

"Try lifting up your feet, Snivellus," James said. Severus tried to lift his feet up from the ground but they were glued hard to the ground. James and Sirius sat there laughing there heads of as Severus attempted to unglue his feet from the ground. From that moment on Severus hated James Potter and Sirius Black.

**1972**

Severus strolled through the corridors looking for Lily Evans. It was a couple of weeks into his second year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and the 4 Gryffindor boys he loathed had not disrupted him yet; and he planned on it staying like that. Maybe 4 boys had just gone through a phase in their 1st year and this year it would be different, they would be a little more _'mature'_ then they were last year, Severus thought. But he thought wrong.

"Severus!" someone called. "Severus!" the voiced called again. Then a green haired Lily Evans came into view, this was defiantly the work of the Marauders. She ran up to him. "Help me!" she screamed pulling her hair. The colour of her hair stood out as people looked at what the commotion was.

"Who did this?" he asked.

"Sirius Black, that's who!" she screamed. "Just mix me up a potion to get rid of it or something," she said. How dare they did this to his Lily, well I guess that just meant he was one point headed of them in Lily's books then.

**1973**

It was winter. Christmas decorations were being put up all around Hogwarts getting ready for the festivities. Severus and Lily sat in the Library together writing there Potions essays. Severus kept looking over to Lily, looking at her big, green eyes as she wrote her essay unaware of him looking at her. '_She is so intelligent'_ he thought. Hogsmeade was coming up and he had been dying to ask her. Of course she was usually accompanied to Hogsmeade by the Marauders or one of her friends in Gryffindor, but just this once he want to go with her. '_Just ask her'_ he thought to himself. He placed his pen down and cleared his throat. Lily looked up.

"You finished already?" she asked him.

"No, I was actually wondering if you want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?" he asked her. She hesitated.

"Sure," she finally said. He smiled.

"Great I'll meet you outside the great hall after breakfast then," he said.

"Sounds great," she replied. He packed his things up delighted that she had said yes.

"See you Saturday then," he said and picked up his things and headed back to his dorm to plan his date with Lily.

**1973, Hogsmeade**

The date was going perfectly; they had been to Madam Puddifoot's tea shop, Zonkos, Honeydukes and even the bookstore just because Lily insisted on going. All was going well, until they decided to go to the Shrieking Shack lookout. When they got there Lily ran to the fence to observe the building.

"Wow, I have read so much on it," she said astonished. "It's even more interesting in real life," she said. Severus moved up and stood next to her.

"It's just fascinating," Severus said trying to impress her. "Did you know it's meant to be the most haunted building in all of Britain?" he asked.

"Yes, I may of read that someone," she said. "I've heard that not even our Hogwarts Ghosts will go in it, it must be pretty scary," she said.

"Yeah, must be," Severus said. They stood there sharing facts with each other about the shack, and then Severus felt something hit the back of his head. He ran his hand down the back of his hand and found snow all over the back of his head. He slowly turned around to see who was there.

"Severus, what's wrong?" Lily asked.

"Someone is watching us," they stood silently for a second and then before they knew it snowballs were coming straight at Severus. Lily screamed and ducked for cover as Severus tried to defend him from the flying snowballs. "I know it's you Potter!" he yelled out. "And Black, you have that cloak of Potters!" he yelled.

"Snivellus!" they both called out laughing their heads off.

"I knew it, reveal yourselves!" he called.

"Snivellus, Snivellus, Snivellus," there was a chorus of saying from the both boys and they took the cloak off and ran away still singing the chorus of _'Snivellus'_ and laughing. Severus got so angry with frustration; he helped Lily up from the ground.

"I think its best we go now," he said. He held his hand out and Lily grabbed it and got up from the ground. _'Those Marauders always ruin everything'_ Severus thought.

**1975**

Now that James Potter had become Gryffindor Prefect he and his group of 'Marauders' thought they were the hierarchy of the school. James took every chance he got at taking points away from Slytherin, especially if it was something Severus had done. One day Severus sat by a tree on the Hogwarts grounds studying his charms notes for the test coming up as James and his group came wandering over.

"Snivellus," they sniggered. James was leading them as they approached Severus. James got out his wand. "Come on Moony, Paddfoot," he said. "Snape," he pointed his wand at Severus as Severus put his book down. Severus got up and pulled out his wand.

"Back off," he muttered. James did seem to hear.

"Expelliarmus," James yelled and Severus wand flew out of his hand.

"Nice one James," Sirius said.

"Levicorpios," he yelled again and Severus rose into the air hanging upside down. They were a chanting us Severus hang upside down in the air. "Who wants to watch me take off Snivelly's trousers?" there was louder chanting now but then Severus heard Lily's voice.

"James let him down now!" She shouted at him.

"Aw, come on were just having a little fun," James said.

"Let him down now," Lily said through her teeth. James let him down and Severus fell to the ground.

"Happy?" James asked.

"Ecstatic," Lily said. The boys all moved away and Lily ran over to Severus. "Sev, are you alright?" she asked.

"No, I'm not; what you pulled there just made me more humiliated. Having to be saved by a girl, let alone a mudblood!" he said with anger. Her heart stopped.

"I can't believe you just called me that," she her eyes starting to water. He stopped and realised what he just said.

"Lily, I'm so sorry, I was just angry and I took it out on you and I shouldn't have," he explained.

"Don't ever talk to me again, Severus," she spat and walked off and Severus sat there and watched his best friend and the girl he loved walk away never to speak to him again.

**1977 **

Lily had become head girl. Severus saw her around; sometimes she smiled at him, other she just ignored him. She had started dating James Potter who was Head Boy now. This had broken Severus's heart, seeing the girl he loved be with the boy he hated the most. Severus always considered telling Lily how he felt about her; telling her that he loved her. Maybe she would love him back, maybe they would be friends again, but one thing Severus knew for sure is that he wouldn't know till he tried.

It was a Sunday and Severus was ready, ready to tell her how he felt. He headed to the library knowing that she would be there, studying; studying in there spot that they always sat at. And easily enough for Severus she was there. He walked up to her and cleared his throat. She looked up.

"Lily," he said.

"Severus," she replied. "What do you want?" she asked. He sat down next to her.

"I want to talk," he said.

"About what?" she asked.

"Us," he replied.

"There is no _'us'_ Severus, our friendship ended the moment that you called me a mudblood, I haven't forgiven you," she said.

"I know, and once again I am truly sorry, you don't know how sorry I am," he told her.

"Yes, well I have heard that before," she said.

"Lily, just listen," she looked at him and he looked at her. "I came here to tell you that…that," he stuttered.

"That what?" she asked.

"That I love you Lily, I always have, I always will," He told her. She placed he hand on his.

"Severus, I can't love you, I don't and I won't, I love James, and nothing can change that, I hope you understand," she said, she gave a short smile and picked her things up and left the table. Severus sat there; he had just been told the thing that he never wanted to hear. He heard that his one true love, truly didn't love him.

* * *

><p>This story is for the first round of Taragh McCarthy's <strong>Your Goal: 34 Stories, Our Gift: 106 Reviews, (Round 1), <strong>my pairing being Severus/Lily,

Reviews would be lovely.


End file.
